The ‘Why’ Behind Self-Care (so you can nix guilt and enjoy your “me time”)

For me, practicing self-care is not optional. It’s something that I routinely build into my day and treat as a non-negotiable.

But I haven’t always been this way…

There was a point in my life when I didn’t prioritize myself and I constantly let my batteries get dangerously low. This continued on for years until I got sick and was later diagnosed with cancer.

(Read more of my story here)

Myth #1… Self-care is selfish:

I’m here to tell you — self-care is anything but selfish. Here’s the thing… Every night, I close the bathroom door, light a few candles, fill my tub up, and spend 30 minutes thinking about what matters to me. I let my mind go elsewhere, read some of my books, and mentally check out.

Could I be spending those 30 minutes with my family? Technically, yes. But after a few days of skipping my “me” time, I wouldn’t be as engaged. I would feel drained and be craving a time-out to recharge. When I emerge from my bath, I’m a much better wife and mother to my family. I’m fully focused on them.

Bath pro tip: I recommend adding a drop of oil to Epsom salt for the best, most relaxing bath. If I’m in pain I try Deep Blue or Lavender. oil Serenity and Ylang Ylang are also great choices — I love anything with feminine floral smells!

Myth #2… Self-care must be done at a certain time:

I’ve heard so many theories on when the best time to do self-care is. But the truth is, scheduling a rigid time to practice self-care puts us in a stressful position right out of the gate.

Can you imagine thinking, “Okay, it’s 8am, I must sit and meditate right now,” in the middle of your morning? There’s no need to put all that pressure on yourself.

Self-care can be flexible. It doesn’t have to be at a certain time for a certain amount of time. I have to say, I probably have self-care moments fifteen times a day. Between gardening, sweet conversations with my daughter, watching the sunset, and my baths, I take a deep breath and have a personal development moment wherever I am.

As I always tell my team, it doesn’t matter when you do it, just make sure you do it. Self-care doesn’t have to be hours. Focus on creating small pockets of time for yourself throughout your day.

Myth #3… Self-care must be a certain thing:

For me, self-care may be my bath, my garden, and reading. But for someone else, reading my sound like a chore. If you don’t love reading, I’m surely not going to recommend that you become a bookworm in pursuit of self-care.

Self-care doesn’t have to be a certain thing. It’s personal — that’s why I often refer to it as personal development. If you like podcasts, pop one on while you’re painting your nails. If you love music, get your favorite song on and let loose for 3 minutes.

Don’t restrict yourself to a certain thing just because you feel like what you like isn’t “self-care”. Find what feeds your soul and do more of that. Because that’s ultimately where you want to put your energy and your time.

Myth #4… Self-care must be done alone:

Gosh, I’m so glad this isn’t true. I’ve had some of my favorite moments with my daughter during my self-care time. For me, self-care is anything connecting me with what I love. Be it gardening, heading out to the chicken coop, or enjoying a sunset on the deck. I do those things as much as possible.

(In fact, my husband recently asked me if I was addicted to buying plants… and I think I might be.)

But during those moments I don’t have to be alone. Sure, alone time is great. But self-care doesn’t always have to be by yourself. When I’m gardening, I love involving my kids. When I’m feeding the chickens, I love chatting with my husband.

If you find something you love to do, don’t be afraid that inviting those you love to do it with you will negate your self-care time. Spending time with my family is a form of my self-care. It’s not the only thing I do for my self-care, but it absolutely counts.

Self-care is number one to me — I can’t get enough of it. It set me up for success in all areas of my life, and it’s proven time and time again to be a necessary priority. I’m so grateful that I learned this skill set. Now, I’d love to hear from you. What are your favorite ways to practice self-care?